I cannot believe it has been ANOTHER whole year since I have written.
Another life update! Since I last wrote we finished our assignment in Northern Idaho, accepted a contract in Charlotte, NC and then one in Salt Lake City, UT. After that we took a leap of faith and bought a home in Columbia, SC. WAY across the country. From anything and everything that we knew. This was a big decision. A hard decision. It did not come without many tears, trials, and triumphs. We have been here five months and so far, we love it. Pulling ourselves away from our families has made us rely on each other and on the Lord more than ever before.
Moving away was super strange. When we started travel nursing we knew we wanted to settle down eventually. We didn't know where or when. And honestly we were open to anywhere. Being the home bodies that we are, we really thought we would end up back in Arizona. Looking back now we see the Lord's hand in it all and know this is where we are supposed to be. We miss our families. We miss our friends. But we are trusting each other and the Lord and that has been a hard, but huge blessing for us.
I guess all of this to say that hard times really can make us more than we ever thought. If you were to tell me in 2020, during the thick of all of my postpartum struggles where I would be today- I would have 100% hands down, not believed you. I remember being so numb and just going through the motions that I thought I was going crazy. I remember being scared that I couldn't be the mom I wanted to be or that my kids needed me to be. I remember telling myself to "just make it through today", or to just make it past a certain date. It was a rough time when it was at moments just a blur. I was there, but I wasn't.
I know I have a long way to go, but I am grateful for tools that I have learned to help me be better. I am grateful for these tools that allow me to get out of rabbit holes that I certainly dig myself in. I am grateful for tools that allow me to stop the loops of obsessive worrying before they start. (sometimes... i'm not perfect).
I know that I was created by divine design and my Heavenly Father loves me. He has sent angels to help me navigate this life. I know that I am not there yet but I am working to see my full divine potential. And I hope and pray that I can be enough to teach my sweet four daughters theirs, because they are so needed on this earth, and I cannot wait to watch the mountains they will move here. I am soooo soooo grateful for the Spirit that whispers these truths to me. Without it, How could I Hear Him? Without it, how could I live up to everything I am meant to be. We are blessed. Through the thick of it all, look for the goodness, you will find it!